The past few weeks have been the most trying in my life. I have written about situations that have happened to me in the past, and even though I am out of those situations now, I am still broken in those areas of my life. I started trying different strategies because I wanted to be healed in those areas. For me, the spiraling down happens, in the same way, most of the time. I will be moving forward, and then I realize I am doing better, and I will self-sabotage the good things that I have in my life because I start to believe that I do not deserve anything in my life.
Lately, I have been dealing with not being heard. There are people that I have to communicate with, but the problem is that they treat me like I do not have value, and I spend a great deal of time thinking about the way they made me feel. I realized that I try to convince myself that they are right. When I am honest with myself and am in the right headspace, I know that I have value whether people like me or not. Rather people want to listen to me or blow me off; I still have value. What I have to work on is knowing that I have value no matter what. The worst decision that I can make is basing my life on what others think and believe about who I am. I realize that I can not wait for people to validate me as a person. Whether a person likes me or dislikes me, I am responsible for the way that I feel about myself. I think that the only way to change the way I think about myself is by reminding myself who I am and being grateful for that person. Life is not about the things that you possess but living the life that you were meant to live.
This is an issue that I need to use coping skills to learn to manage. I spend a great deal of time being there for other people, but I am not there enough for myself. Even though I have tried to hide it, it is becoming more apparent to the people that I love and care about. The coping skill that I am going to be focusing on is keeping a gratitude journal. The hope is that I will see my worth and that I build enough gratefulness that it will help when my negative mindset comes back.
Maybe you are going through something similar in your life or something else entirely different, but the hope is that you would try to incorporate some coping skills in your day to day to get through those tough times and be able to keep going.