I like to ask myself questions. I feel like it is important to help me to grow as a person. Since the quarantine has happened, I have found myself asking myself a lot of questions around trying to figure out what kind of person that I want to be? I am still answering this question for myself. It seems to be ongoing. The more I get into the question, the more layers are exposed for me to consider. One day, I will post my thoughts on the question, but for now, I want to focus on the topic of seeing our worth as individuals.
On my journey, I have taken the route of being what I believed everyone wanted me to be, or I lived my life in such a way that I tried to please everyone so they wouldn’t leave because I didn’t want to admit that I have abandonment issues. If you can relate to what I am saying, then I’ll tell you what I have come to believe. If a person is supposed to be in your life, they will accept you for the person that you are and will not try to change you on their ideas of who you should be. They will love you for the simple fact of being an imperfect person that is growing more into your authentic self. I have l learned this from the people who have chosen to love me. On the other hand, if they don’t accept you, then they will leave. The truth is it hurts for people to leave, but it hurts more to deny yourself the opportunity to ￼be the real and strong person you are. Take it from me, I have compromised myself for the majority of my life, and as a person who is trying to become more of myself, I can tell you I am happier being myself having the support from the people who accept me. I think it comes from being willing to ask myself questions and thinking deeply about them.
One of my favorite poems is “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. The poem has had many different meanings to me, depending on where I am in my life. In the context of seeing my worth, the poem reminds me that it is easy to give up my individuality and become like everyone else, but what is it benefiting. Being a people pleaser doesn’t help me become the best version of myself. Being this way diminishes a person’s worth. A friend of mine once told me, we all have something to contribute, and when we don’t show up as ourselves with everything that makes us unique, we deprive others of the parts of us that help them grow as a person. I have been learning that I would rather take the road less traveled because it means I get to learn more about myself, the dreams I have, what I believe in, and see different perspectives.
Getting to this level in my thinking has taken me asking myself important questions to figure out who I am. For a while, a question that I was grappling with was, when is someone else going to see my worth. Then one day, I realized that is not the question that I needed to be asking myself. The real question is, when am I going to see my worth? I was thinking about my life in the wrong perspective. I was looking at myself from an outward view. The way other people see me, which made me miserable. I believe we’re not supposed to look at ourselves that way because it makes it impossible to accept ourselves for the person that we’re trying to become. We all go through times where we make mistakes, and if we look at ourselves that way, it makes it challenging to keep going forward in the right direction. Try and think about it like this for a second. There are billions of people on earth. You can not morph into everyone’s idea of you, and if you could, you would lose all your individuality. I don’t know about you, but I am not sure if I want to lose all the things that make me, me. The longer I live, I learn something new about myself. That only happens if I am willing to challenge the things I was taught and learn my beliefs. I am not willing to miss out on helping other people with my gifts.
I am not in no way saying that I have mastered seeing my worth, but by being aware of certain things about myself, I am able to make better decisions regarding myself.
My question for you to think about is, do you see your worth? Are you compromising yourself to co-sign someone else belief of who you should be?
Next time I will talk more about co-signing other people’s beliefs for your life.