Lately, I have been thinking about words, thoughts, and experiences and how they affect me in the way I feel about myself. What I realized was whether what was said or done was coming from an internal place or said or done by another person, you control your next response. You can be defeated or encourage. I hope you choose to be encouraged.
Validation can sometimes be misunderstood. Many think that it has to do with other people believing the person who is expressing their thoughts, feelings, or experience. Validation is the acknowledgment and acceptance of another person’s thoughts, feelings, or experience. It’s not always agreeing with another person. Self-validation is the same just internally with your acceptance of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. We all have thoughts whether they are positive or negative. Both extremes can change or alter our thoughts and feelings towards ourselves. One thing that I have learned is I can not stop negative thoughts, but I can validate them and go to a different thought pattern. It’s difficult to do. I struggle with it a lot. Even though we have negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences in life we do not have to let them control us. We all want to have good thoughts, feelings, and experiences in our lives. The way to get there when dealing with negative things in our lives is to accept that we feel this way and affirm ourselves with what is good and true in our lives.
Not Pleasing Other People
It is easy sometimes to fall into doing something that you do not necessarily want to do. Some times it’s because you feel like you have to. Other times it is because a person feels like they will get something out of it. Sometimes people please others because they don’t want to lose someone they care about in their life. If you fall into any of these categories, compromising who you are and what you need is unnecessary. When you do that, it changes the way that you feel about yourself. I know for me, when I try to please people in my life, it takes away my identity and takes away my confidence. One thing that I notice in my life is that when I am not trying to please other people and doing the things that I enjoy, I have more confidence in myself. My attitude towards myself changes to see the different possibilities of life.
Having a Voice
Having a voice in different situations can be difficult, especially if you are a people pleaser. When you are silent, it is easier for people to take advantage of you or think that you are complicit in a bad situation. Recently in my life, I have begun to have a voice in my life and with things that have happened to me. For example, I have a manager, whos negativity was becoming too much for me to handle where I would become angry with the things he said. When the anger was directed at me, it made me feel bad about myself, but when I told him how I felt about his actions, it took the responsibility of his anger off of me and back onto him. What I learned was I could not control what other people do, but I can control what I am exposed to. Even though my manager retaliated against me, it didn’t change the new respect I had for myself. I was able to hold my head up and have more confidence in myself. I know that having a voice in situations can be challenging, but it is worth it.
Just Being You
Many things go on in life, but through everything that is going on, it’s important to be yourself and not compromise who you are. Take time to encourage yourself. Maybe share your interest with the people around you. Do things that you enjoy. It can possibly give you more confidence in yourself and help you respect yourself.